so that fire may devour your cedars!” —Zechariah 12:11 verse 1
Is where I totally get fucked.
I really don’t. Girls I meet and have good chances with end up with SERIOUS fucking baggage and maybe I’m immature but damn its scary. “Oh hey you’re a sweet guy, odd but you treat people right, but all my exes are douchebags or I end up with one guy I really like and then SERIOUS FUCKING SHIT hit the fan” If it’s not that, I meet whores. I have no problem with promiscuity, but all that “love” at once? Turn off. I do not work like normal guys. You try giving me bjs on the second “date” and I freak out. I don’t want all this sexy, lets fuck mumbo jumbo right off the bat. I’m happy if I get to feel some tits at the end of it. I need to stop talking to a couple at a time though. I just feel like I’m gonna fuck something up with them somewhere before it goes anywhere so it’s preventative measures to avoid total alone-ness. (That would be loneliness, I know but it’s 5 fucking AM. Eat shit)
BASICALLY, I’m an ass like the rest of them. It happens. Except I have like zero ego and less assertiveness. So yhea. Angst parade over. I need sleep but can’t get any because I’ll end up uber failure today/tomorrow.
Have a better week then I’ve been having.